Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
The calm before the score
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
Case in punt
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
Which front-office type is the most promiscuous? The general ménageur.
The judge sentenced the basketball player to life imprisonment because he shot the ball.
Where do ghosts play golf?
On a golf corpse.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Who's got a penchant for spearing? Pronger!
Where do point guards take their dates to party after the game?
To a basket ball.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
What is the difference between a ball hog and time?
Time passes.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Which Finn is like a hotdog on the ice? Teemu Salami.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Who directs all of the movies about volleyball injuries? Spike Lee.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Deep sea diving is so dangerous.
I just can’t fathom it.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
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