What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
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