Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
Go to BabaMail
