What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
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