Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
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