Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”