Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
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