What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
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