How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Go to BabaMail
