What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
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