Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
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