What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
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