What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
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