Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
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