What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
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