What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
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