Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
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