If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
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