What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
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