My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
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