Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
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