Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
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