Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Go to BabaMail
