Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
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