With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
Bacteria is the only culture some people have.
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
I don't think I need a spine.
It's holding me back.
Do you find bone puns humerus?
I created a vaccine for apathy, but unfortunately no one seems interested.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
How do you know your dehydrated? You can hear your red blood cells crenating.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
What did one brain say to another?
I lobe you.
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
Heard Russia has the vaccine to Coronavirus. I'm probably not Putin that into my body.
Biology - It grows on you.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
Where do hippos go to university? Hippocampus.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
What is the reproductive area in South America? Spermatagonia.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
I can't imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
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