How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
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