Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
Go to BabaMail
