I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
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