Ancient Rome Puns

These puns about ancient Rome will tickle your funny bone.

How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
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