Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
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