Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
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