Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
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