What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
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