You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren't paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton, he exclaimed, "Don't you understand the gravity of this situation?"
The yearbook superlative that Robert Lee had given in his graduation was "Most likely to secede."
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?
Nothing, he's gladiator.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
I wonder why Lenin didn't realize that communism would fail to work. There were so many red flags everywhere.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What's a snake's favorite subject to study in school? Hisssstory.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
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