Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek?
Marco Polo.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"
Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
What does a gladiator say when leaving after an intimate embrace with a woman?
Gladiator out
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
I had a friend who got a Ph.D. in the history of Palindromes. He is now called Dr. Awkward.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
What do you call a happy aviator?
A gladiator
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
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