Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
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