Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!