Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
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