Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
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