What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
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