What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
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