Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Ah! The element of surprise.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
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