Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
Ah! The element of surprise.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
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