What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
Ah! The element of surprise.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
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