Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
Ah! The element of surprise.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
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