Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
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