What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
Ah! The element of surprise.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
Go to BabaMail
