The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.