If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
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