It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
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