Physics Puns

I sense the electrifying presence of eyes hungry for our Physics Puns... Prepare for Hilarity, Physics-style.

A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?"
The teacher answers: "Let me see if I can pull some strings for you."
What is better than a physics joke?
A meta physics joke.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
Why can you tell that Theresa May failed physics?
She had power and time but didn't get the work done.
Physics is like incest.
It’s all relative.
Some people think nuclear physics is interesting.
Well, in my opinion it's really Bohring.
Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic?
Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!
What do you call a glass robot that is good at physics?
A new-clear physicist.
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested?
He was released without charge.
When you offered me love, I lepton it!
Two sodium atoms are walking down the street. Suddenly one says “Oh, my God, I’ve lost an electron!” The other says “Lost an electron! Are you sure?” and the first replies “Yes, I’m positive!”
Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
I got a C in Physics and my parents grounded me.
They say I don't understand the gravity of the situation.
The local band stand was struck by lightening yesterday while the band was playing.
Only the conductor was hit.
May the mass times acceleration be with you.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade; when life gives you apples, make physics equations.
(Looking at you Newton).
We had a lively debate in physics.
It was a conversation of energy.
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
So engineering school is really hard.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
Speed and Velocity are brothers.
Velocity has a family, is rich and teaches classes around the world.
Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents.
They think Speed lacks Direction.
What did the nerdy duckling say ?
Quark Quark.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...

It hertz.
I've been trying to think of an electrical pun but now my head Hertz.
My physics teacher told me i had so much potential, so much energy.
Then I fell down the stairs and lost it all.
A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge
When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
I really liked learning about displacement in Physics.
It's pretty straight to the point.
I sit in front if my ex in physics.
There used to be a lot of friction between us.
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