What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
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