What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Go to BabaMail
