Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
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