What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.