What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
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