Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
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