Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
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