Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
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