Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
What element is derived from a Norse god? Thorium.
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
Where do geologists like to relax? In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? They know really dirty jokes.
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
Why shouldn't you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
Did you hear about the geologist who got divorced?
He was taking his wife for granite, so she left him.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava You!
Why was the geologist always depressed?
He had a hard rock life.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
Mountains aren't funny....? They're hilarious.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through"
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really “dirty” jokes.
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him.
What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?
No fracking way!
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