Geology Puns

Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology? Did you know that geologists are athletic? Yeah, I read it in Quartz illustrated. Where do geologists like to relax? In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? They know really dirty jokes. What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball. Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer! Mountains aren't funny....? They're hilarious. Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent. Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite. Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale. What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom! What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through" Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza? To get their "Rock" On. What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel. According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people. Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material. What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic Why shouldn't you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned. Wanna hear the mountain joke?
nah you won't get over it What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium What did the geologist say when his doctor asked him if he was ready for his colonic? No FRACKING way! What element is derived from a Norse god? Thorium. What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir" What happens when someone throws a rock at you? Rock bottom hits you. Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down. Watson: Holmes, What kind of rock is this?
Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson. What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented. Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava You! Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him.