Did you know that geologists are athletic? Yeah, I read it in Quartz illustrated.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
Did you hear about the geologist who got divorced?
He was taking his wife for granite, so she left him.
Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
What did the geologist say when his doctor asked him if he was ready for his colonic? No FRACKING way!
What happens when someone throws a rock at you? Rock bottom hits you.
Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
Why shouldn't you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?
No fracking way!
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza? To get their "Rock" On.
Wanna hear the mountain joke?
nah you won't get over it
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really “dirty” jokes.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava You!
What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through"
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
Mountains aren't funny....? They're hilarious.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale.
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
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