What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
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