Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Go to BabaMail
