Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Go to BabaMail
