I General Lee do not find punny history jokes about the Civil War funny.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
Who led the Australians into the promised land, through a semipermeable membrane?
Ozmoses.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
My Gladiator DVD stopped working...
Talk about an *epic* fail.
During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
That boy narrated his-story really well.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
The yearbook superlative that Robert Lee had given in his graduation was "Most likely to secede."
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
When Julius Ceasar got defeated by Brutus in 'Battleship,' he said, "A2 Brute?"
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn't have been Wright.
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Go to BabaMail
