When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Why were Native Americans in America first?
They had reservations.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
That boy narrated his-story really well.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn't have been Wright.
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What do you call a detective from the Reformation?
Martin Sleuther.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?
Gladiator.
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
Once upon a time, there was a king who loved traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under."
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Go to BabaMail
