My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.
What's a snake's favorite subject to study in school? Hisssstory.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Napoleon conquered too much lang because he had too little Toulouse.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What do you call a happy aviator?
A gladiator
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
I heard the history teacher got into a fight with the math teacher
He did a real good number in him.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
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