The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
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