Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.