The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
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