Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
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