Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Go to BabaMail
