If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
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