Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
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