Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
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