What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
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