How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
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