Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
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