What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
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