What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
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