Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
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