I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
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