Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
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