What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
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