A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
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