My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
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