Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
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