Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
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