It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
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