How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
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