When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
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