What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.