How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
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