Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.