A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Go to BabaMail
