How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy