What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
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