. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson