What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.