What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Go to BabaMail
