What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Go to BabaMail
