What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
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