Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
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