What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
but I still haven’t ruled it out.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
What does a volleyball player do when they go to prom? They spike the punch.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
. What do you call it when you heard the same jogger pun earlier, yet laughed again?
A running joke.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
What do you call a professional beach volleyball player who doesn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Homeless.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
Running mates.
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
Prepare to be bowled over.
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
Why did the college football team stop smoking
They lost all their matches.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
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