The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
If volleyball were easy, they would call it football.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Every player knows pretty well that they cannot afford to go through life without goals.
Brother: "I saw a seahorse scuba diving"
Dad: "Wow that's amazing, I didn't realise they had the technology."
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
We pass expectations, set the standards and kill the competition. This is definitely one of the best volleyball puns to use as your team’s motto.
Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
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