What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
What do you say when your dad wears a speedo to the pool?
Spee-don’t!
Summer is just floating by.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Why was the marathon runner plucked out of the race and taken away to jail?
For resisting a rest.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
All punts are highly intended
My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
Where do ghosts play volleyball at? At the volleyball corpse.
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
Why do referees always hurry to catch their next flight? Because it's "two
minutes 'fore boarding!"
What does a volleyball player do when they go to prom? They spike the punch.
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
Why did the vegetarian stop running cross country?
He did not like the meets.
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