When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
The target in soccer is to kick it where it counts.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
It is now a universal truth that actions speak louder than coaches.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
Many basketball players fail their tests in school because they do not want to pass.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
[Water Slide] I was going to get some work done, but I decided to let it slide.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Wife: I’m sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
We all sat by the fireplace listening to the basketballer’s story. At some point, I found it unbelievable. It was such a tall tale!
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
What do we call the basketball team that won the donuts championships? – dunkin donuts.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
Even if injuries end it prematurely, Paul's had a good Kariya.
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
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