I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
There is a specific type of cats who love to go bowling. They are known as alley cats.
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The bar man asks: “have you been served?”
We’ll have a ball.
This pool is impressive. Or should I say swim-pressive?
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
What do volleyball players do when they go to church? Serve God.
You cannot get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle because cheetahs are all over.
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
How do volleyball players deliver their messages? Through Air Mail.
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
We’ll have a splash-tastic time.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
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