Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Why do the blondes prefer to have se* instead of bowling?
The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
What do we call the basketball team that won the donuts championships? – dunkin donuts.
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
How are a volleyball coach and a dentist similar? They both use drills.
Good bowlers always keep their minds out of the gutter.
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
The only difference between time and a ball hog is that the former passes.
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
What should you do when you play volleyball against a team of satanists? You beat the hell out of them.
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
The team’s star basketball player decided to remain at home the entire weekend. He didn’t want to be called out for travelling.
By the seat of one’s punt
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
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