The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
You cannot get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle because cheetahs are all over.
Did you know that old bowlers do not die? They simply end up in gutters.
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
There is a specific type of cats who love to go bowling. They are known as alley cats.
[Pool Noodle] That’s using your noodle!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
The Bogeyman.
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
All punts are highly intended
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
The only difference between time and a ball hog is that the former passes.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink? Sets on the Beach.
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
What do you say when your dad wears a speedo to the pool?
Spee-don’t!
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
The basketball player sat on the sideline and began sketching pictures of chickens. He was learning how to draw fowls.
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!
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