I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
What is the 7th pin in bowling called? Mother-In-Law!
The goal nine yards
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
This pool is impressive. Or should I say swim-pressive?
How many volleyball referees do you need to screw in a light bulb? None because they are always in the dark.
What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink? Sets on the Beach.
What's the sweetest moment in a hockey game? When they're icing the puck.
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
Poor white splash.
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
The reason why bowling alleys are so quiet is such that you can hear a pin drop.
Join us for plenty of play action.
My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
Calm before the score
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
You cannot get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle because cheetahs are all over.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
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