I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
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