Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
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