Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
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