What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
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