What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.