What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
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