Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
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