Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
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