I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Go to BabaMail
