What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
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