What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
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