If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.