What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
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