What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
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