Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
Go to BabaMail
