How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
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