Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
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