Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
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