What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
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